This morning, Sunday December 17th, I led a Unitarian Universalist service called Ringing in the Light. I talked about my childhood memories of being touched by Hanukkah and my experiences in celebrating the Winter Solstice and with the Gnostic Gospels. You can see my words below on the YouTube video or read the reflection below that.
As far back as I can remember, the light beckoned.
The sun was a ball of fire in the sky. The light changed into vibrant colors in the morning and the evening. It filtered through the branches of trees. The sunlight had, in fact, shined down and helped to form the trees. So the light was in the trees (along with the rain and the earth).
Even when it was cloudy, I knew the sun was there. Sometimes I could see the ball of sun outlined behind the gray clouds.
The first time I remember being drawn to the light in a religious context was when I was in elementary school watching a play about Hanukkah.
Despite its nearness to Christmas on the calendar, Hanukkah is one of the lesser holidays in Judaism. Hanukkah, also called The Festival of Lights, began last Tuesday at sunset and ends this Wednesday, December, 20th, at nightfall.
When I asked my partner what Hanukkah meant to her, she responded that it is a celebration of survival, hope and faith.
The holiday celebrates the victory of the Maccabees, detailed in the Hebrew Bible and the Talmud.
This victory of the Maccabees, in approximately 160 BCE – BCE standing for Before The Common Era — resulted in the rededication of the Second Temple. The Maccabees were a group of Jewish rebel warriors who took control of Judea.
According to the Talmud, the Temple was purified and the wicks of the menorah burned for eight days.
But there was only enough sacred oil for one day’s lighting. It was a miracle.
Hanukkah is observed by lighting the eight candles of the menorah at varying times and various ways. This is done along with the recitation of prayers. In addition to the eight candles in the menorah, there is a ninth called a shamash (a Hebrew word that means attendant). This ninth candle, the shamash, is in the center of the menorah.
It is all very complicated of course – the history and the ritual – but what I remember most is sitting in that darkened auditorium and being drawn to the pool of light around the candles on my elementary school stage.
I am not Jewish. I say that I was raised secular – but that is putting it mildly. My mother was, in fact, a bible-burning atheist. Added to that, I was always cast as one of the shepherds in the school’s Christmas pageant since I was the tallest child in elementary school.
Also, I had Jewish neighbors – and as a future lesbian and book worm growing up in the sameness of a working class neighborhood — I may have responded to difference and had a realization that I was part of it.
Then I grew up, came out, thanked the Goddess for my secular upbringing, and celebrated the Winter Solstice with candles and music. This year, the Solstice falls on December 21st. The Winter Solstice (traditionally the shortest period of daylight and the longest night of the year) is this coming Thursday in the Northern Hemisphere of planet Earth – which is where we are.
One of our friends who we celebrated the Solstice with is Julia Haines. Julia is a musician who has performed at Restoration. She has a wonderful composition of Thunder Perfect Mind which she accompanies with her harp playing. You can find her on YouTube. Thunder Perfect Mind, of which I just read an excerpt, is one of the ancient texts of the Gnostic Gospels.
The Gnostic Gospels were discovered in the Egyptian town of Nag Hammadi in 1945. Originally written in Coptic, these texts date back to ancient times and give us an alternative glimpse into the Gospels that are written in the New Testament. They are so important that they are banned in some conventional religions. And in my book, that’s a good reason to read them.
Reading them led me to think of myself as a Gnostic – meaning one who has knowledge and who pursues knowledge – including mystical knowledge. The Gnostic Gospels have provided me with inspiration for my writing, particularly in my novel THEY, a biblical tale of secret genders, soon to be published by Adelaide Books. And they also inspire me in the novel I am currently writing — titled The Unicorn, The Mystery.
I am inspired by the Gnostic Gospels in part because they let in the light. In particular, they let in the light of the feminine.
As Julia says in her rendition of Thunder:
I am godless
I am Goddess
So how does finding the light factor into my experience of Unitarian Universalism? Later in life, after fifty, I found a religion that fit my values. I found a religion wide enough – and I might add, secure enough – to embrace nonconformity.
In finding a congregation that is diverse in many ways – including religious diversity – I have found a deeper sense of myself.
And in that self, I recognize that the darkness is as least as necessary and as important as the light.
As a creative writer, I spend much of my time in the gray-matter of imagination.
It is in that darkness where I find the light.
Namaste
Janet Mason, author 